Written by: Ste / The Tarot Cat
Do you have a problem you’d like help with? Every month, Uncle Ste asks his cards a question from our readers, giving a unique insight into the root of your issue. Ste is a tarot reader, fully qualified counsellor, and also runs a LGBT helpline. All of these things inform how he works with the cards – his tarot readings are creative, fun, empowering and inclusive. He is a considerate and experienced person-centred reader who uses tarot as a kind of esoteric therapy, rather than as a future predictor.
I am going on a spiritual retreat next month and looking forward to it greatly. I would like my husband to join me, and he wants to come along too; but the retreat is being organised by my ex who has expressed reluctance for my husband to be there, although he also says anyone is welcome. I think it might be an ideal opportunity to lay the past to rest, as does my husband, but others suspect my ex’s motives in not wanting my husband there. Can the cards give me any advice?
Thanks for getting in touch with this tricky situation. It sounds like a real balancing act knowing how to approach this, and it must feel like a bit of a minefield, trying to manage everyone’s feelings with you being stuck in the middle of both guys.
For your retreat dilemma, I drew one card from The Golden Rider Tarot: Page of Cups (or rather, the Page of Cups jumped out from the deck when I was shuffling!). Cups represent the element of water and they are often described as the suit of the heart, representing our emotional lives, whilst often tapping into our relationship dilemmas. The Page of Cups is a relaxed, friendly looking chappy, who stands with the sea behind him, holding out a chalice that contains a cheeky, jumpy-looking fish.
Pages often relate to early stages in a process, or a process of learning/studying and developing. This instantly made me think that this spiritual retreat is something that holds some real potential for both you and your husband: something that your husband in particular might benefit from and potentially lead him to a new, curious spiritual path. I wonder if your husband is new to this kind of thing, perhaps not often showing an interest in spirituality in general, which makes you all the more keen to encourage this, perhaps knowing that this could be really good for his own growth? Perhaps I’m a little off the mark here, but even if this is the case, I do get the feeling that this could be the beginning of a new, much needed more relaxed way of being in the world, and for this reason alone I think you should consider carefully the benefits of him attending. It must feel a bit strange, as I imagine that the reason you both want to go along to this retreat is to embrace life more positively, perhaps to escape a bit (or a lot?!) of stress, and you’re finding that it’s actually becoming a source of stress in itself, which feels like a big irony! But I reckon that besides a few awkward moments when letting your ex know about your husband coming, the experience of the retreat will be more than adequate in dealing with any stress that comes about from making the decision.
When I see the Page holding out his chalice, it looks like an offering, a gesture of goodwill. You said in your question that it could be an opportunity to ‘lay the past to rest’ – and I feel that it really could be. In this image I see your husband holding out a gentle hand of friendliness – and even if this again seems awkward at the time, it could well turn out to be worthwhile in the long run, even if it does feel a little uncomfortable at times during the actual weekend.
I get great vibes from this retreat. I think it’s something special to be shared between the two of you. I can’t say what’s going on with your ex, and what his motives are – it’s not something I believe can be done effectively with tarot, or is even ethical – but his motives are besides the point. The point is that you have a wonderful opportunity for growth and ‘time out’ in front of you both. Besides anything else, your loyalties lie with yourself and your husband, rather than your former partner, so if you both want your husband to go along to this retreat, then I think you’ve answered your own question already!
I do hope that’s been helpful for you.
All the best with everything,
Ste (The Tarot Cat)
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